My story

She dont know what to do but she know the flow will work for her. 

Who is she? What does she want? What do she do? What does she want? What hurted her? How much she is hurted? Who hurted her? Is she healed? What can heal her? 

It all started with a pathetic arrange marriage. Samra's parents don't want her daughter to marry this early but they found the marriage proposal is good. They made the sudden decision and said yes to Samra's in laws. After 1 month Samra got married. The question is, with whom she got married? 

Samra was in her wedding dress, waiting for her husband on bed. After an hour of waiting, he came. Samra was 19 years old girl and 11 year younger than her husband. She has to do whatever he want her to do, So she did. Samra's husband name is Kumail Eshaq. Kumail was a fierce person. He use to beat her when she did something wrong. But what did she do that made him this angry? 

She was the eldest in her siblings and favorite of her parents. Her parents has never exploit their daughter and even made her cry. Samra was good in all manner that can make her a great daughter in law. But that wasn't enough. 

After months of carring this toxic relationship, where there is no sense of gotten beat by her husband, she got pregnant. It's her second pregnancy, why because she had a miscarriage recently and that was definitly because of her husband. 

Her parents knew that she was in pain but they didn't did anything for her and end up saying, "Good wife don't argue". 

Part 2

She was in pain and everyone blamed her instead. Her in laws were the worst people ever. They didn't ever had given a penny of mercy to her. Beside her husband, there were 8 people who want to kill her, not really but they almost killed her internally. 

Samra's position in her in law's home got high when she gave birth to a baby girl. Kumail love baby daughter and he did love his daughter as he should do. But never loved someone else daughter, of whom he was husband. 

Part 3 

Their daughter was growing fastly and was being stubborn day by day. Kumail don't like crying babies. When ever she started to crying, he beat her daughter too. Ain't no one knows if he is pyscho or what. And like that he continued to beat both of them for years. After some years Samra got Pregnant again.

Since they live in their elder brother's home, they faced alot of problem regarding their parts in retention. Kumail who is fierce and got furious for little things decided to end up live in a independent household. It becomes difficult for Samra to look after the home all alone, although she was Pregnant. They got settled in their house, which was you 1bed DD.

Kumail who was also enrolled in Masters Program in Karachi University, got graduated. After that he resigned from his job from Gatron NovaTax. 

After 9 months, Samra gave birth to a beautiful Baby boy, who they named Shaharyar. Shaharyar is a naughty boy, who loves to destroy things, either toys or housewares. Kumail dont like his activities, even though he is a child. He used to beat his son too. Even when he was just 4 month old, crying cause of starvation.

Kumail invest his time and money to set up his own business. He started to make Shampoos and hair care products at his home. He did alot of struggle in his teen, so that it was easy for him to leave his comfort and work this much. 

He started spending alot of time in home, and thats making Samra more tensed about the upcoming disaster. 

Samra has no clue how she could handle this burden along with two kids. She often call her sisters to her out. She got Sisters-in-Law too, but they only visit her to increase her burden. Samra's whole in-law is the bunch of some Rascals, in her husband. Samra got beaten multiples of times of many reasons, but those reasons are still baseless for me, and I dont want to share those reasons. 

part 4:

Samra got Pregnant with another baby in December. It becomes a mess for her to handle her kids, home, chores, relations, pregnancy and herself. When she was 8 month pregnant, she felt some severe back pain. There was a bulk of dirty Cloths to laundry. She took her from her neighbour to wash cloths in their Washing machine, so that her neighbour dont get alot of burden. 

That day Kumail came to home early after work. He saw that Samra took help from neighbour for laundry. He through all those clean, washed cloth in the toilet and order her to clean them again. He slapped her when she was in alot of pain. 

Well, Samra got use to of it all. In September she gave birth to another pretty baby girl, who Kumail named as Warda. Hello that's me, its the birth of mine. Can you imagine how much trauma I was handling since I was Uterus of my mother. 

That's how traumatized I am till now. Who is the real responsible for ruining these lives? Absolutely no one, but the destiny, right?

I am a girl who is suicidial, and has attempted suicide 2 times. I am not a survivor but those were the failed attemps. I am a girl who got bullied in her school for year, and due to my short of sense of humour it becomes a trouble for me. I became insecure about myself as if I am something lesser than anybody. Likewise, I was a pretty average kinda girl who just have dirty shoes, untidy hairs, cheap dressing sense, and fair color complex.

I dont want a therapy for what my mental health is now but I really wanted to teach the society how we can cure somebody's mental health. One little joke of us can be the reason of someone's suicide. 

Dont be scared I am alive and I am living my life Alhumdullilah without taking anybody serious. Even, I dont take my family problems serious now, that was making me a heart patient. I feel legit pain in my heart since I was 8 years old. I didn't even told that to my parents because they cant do anything for that. 

What's more funny, you know? When I was in grade 6, I fall in love with the son of my tutor. He was too handsome that everytime I look at him, I got the whole forest in my stomach, not just butterflies.